3D glasses are a problem if you usually wear prescription lenses. After finally becoming secure enough in your appearance to withstand the hackneyed taunts of “FOUR EYES” coming from the wise guys down the back of the cinema, you then have slide on yet ANOTHER pair of glasses over the top of your regular pair just to enjoy the extraordinarly pointy 3D effects in whatever seminal piece of 3D cinema you’ve chosen to view. Not even a special edition refrigerated Fonzie is cool enough to withstand the taunts of “SIX EYES” that will now be screamed at you by the public at large.

It’s even worse if you’re a big U2 fan with a Bono complex causing you to need to wear sunglasses inside when faced with a stressful situation. Suddenly you’re an “EIGHT EYES” and you have as much social currency as a spider. One of those big hairy ones, with thick legs that dart out of the corners you thought were safe while you’re precariously holding a stack of antique crystal. The ones that run directly at you while fear freezes you to the ground and your only chance of salvation comes from screaming at an inhumanly high pitch in the hope that a dog runs in to save you. We’ve all seen one of those spiders. It’s a scary beast.

Read More